Life is an interesting thing filled with many types of people who have different callings and expertise. People have preferences in regards to who they listen to and want to be around. Some folks—good people who are called to carry messages in a certain way—are massage therapists, but not in the way you think. They offer comfort and support by gently working out the problem areas of people’s lives. Such people have a way of gently getting us back on track. There are others who through trickery and deceit become massage therapists as well. They are frauds and cowards, seriously lacking in character. They stroke the egos, weaknesses, bitterness and the insecurities of folks to gain trust and an audience. These people are proliferating at a rapid rate. Society does not need more, but unfortunately people seek out folks who will tell them what they want to hear because delusion is like a drug and there are plenty of addicts.
Demolition experts, or DEs, emerge on the scene when difficult things need to be said and our delusions and false securities need to be shattered. We don’t like it when we are called on the carpet. Some interpret these people as gruff, stubborn, angry, strange or just plain mean. The truth is, we need demolition experts. The good ones are able to target what needs to be brought down in our lives for the purposes of rebuilding, creating space, or simply destroying something that needed to be condemned in our lives. They know how much force to use and understand that we will protest their assessment. Now don’t mistake, there is nothing wrong with preferring a massage therapist to a demolition expert—but the truth is we need both. Their hammers bring us life.
I’ve had massage therapists and demolition experts in my life. I keep them both around because they develop me. I prefer DEs; they accelerate my growth and don’t hesitate to tell me the truth or give a needed assessment. Many leaders have this trait written in their DNA and folks try to change them or dissuade them from telling it like it is. My father had this tendency and I’ve inherited my own dose through him. We should avoid this trap; it’s our problem not theirs. We need to grow up and stop conspiring to remove them from our ranks. On a personal level, I want you to consider this: if God has brought a hammer into your life, don’t despise the person. Look past their gruff nature and pay close attention to the words. Let them hit their target.
Hakim Hazim is the founder of Relevant Now Consultancy and L.E.A.D.E.R.S.H.I.P. 1ST Intervention Specialist. Hakim has been immersed in research for at risk populations since 1993. His successful results confirmed first-hand that: “The price of incarceration in terms of expense for housing offenders is too much for society to consistently pay, and the future grows darker. Bluntly put, we can’t sustain the cost in lives or resources. It is my fervent belief that a productive tax-paying citizen is a far better option. Given the right tools, young people can change and lead positive lives.” As a certified Crisis Prevention Institute Senior Trainer and Behavior Intervention Specialist he specializes in the following various areas of security: counterterrorism, radical religious sects, gangs, juvenile delinquency and law enforcement approaches for mentally ill or challenged individuals. Hakim is also the creator of the 4Cs of Leadership trainings and MC2U: “Mentoring Challenge to You” initiative.